sometimes honesty can bring discomfort.
I felt like a piece of me was missing. I felt as if I showed up to my friend theo jemison's studio space wit an incomplete presence, n a mind full of hosted ideas influenced by forces I been playing chess wit for too long.
the 1st photo was the 1st photon captured. in it, my hand is actually turning into a swan; i'm drawing strength from a harp that has been impatiently waiting for me to explore her wit a fervent reverence. into my mind it gazes.
..n my crown, featherless, beadless, cultureless, void of identity, whole with a desire to prove dat I don't need to prove a thing..
I see my free-handstylez superimposed everywhere I look thru. I don't know how i've held in these spectrums for so long // I been observing the inner iridescence via the negatives. apparently it takes much practice to extract this. but it's there.. been there. always will be.
memory prisms. heart collage. all tucked away in journals, books, n my imagination.
yet I often speak of one's inner sun, I feel that my dawn has yet to come, said she on a drk november moon.
why do some fear being invisible? the attention is ever-shifting with those who surf grandiose numerical waves, some purchased/some perchance. I seek to ride the ebb n flow of cosmic energy more than the idea that I must stay updating.
the surface contains the depth. the silence contains the music. the discomfort reveals a reflection. this body is hosting my consciousness.. but insofar do I understand its language?
i've been awake, i've been asleep. i've been depressed. haven't always been grateful, but learned what that meant whenever life humbled me. i bow my head in naivety.
i've wondered about my existence being deleted; a selfish thought. when so many r fighting to have their stories heard, how could I be so afraid to write mine? when i've taken so much, n have yet to give my all ..
but what could I give this world that it doesn't already have?
as I evolve, my soul will flow forth.. into new textures, hairstyles, spirit armor, relationships rooted in pure love, creativity from a warm n excitable heart, magical opportunity, sparkling pay, multi-dimensional expansion, unwavering faith, savage n shameless compassion, n a healthy obsession with musical theory pertaining to art and life.
to me, these photos document my spiritual light and its shadow. I see that now, and it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable anymore. I believe I'm beginning to understand what this whole year has been purifying me for :: what's up ahead n what to leave behind.
at the foot of a new mountain. look back n see a sea of once floral terrain. caught in an oceanic blissed state of timelessness.
a time for rest, this is.. I respect it.
Proud. of this sacred space no one can ever defile. new seeds have been planted.